Couples Retreat

OPENING: 10/09/2009

STUDIO: Universal Studios

RUN TIME: 107 min

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

The Charge
It may be paradise… but it’s no vacation.

Opening Statement
There’s enough comic talent in the cast of Couples Retreat to supply two or three films. Unfortunately, the laughs are few and very far between, in this clunker of a comedy.

The Case
The film focuses on four different couples. Vince Vaughn (Fred Claus) and Malin Akerman (Watchmen) are semi-happily married and have two young children. Jon Favreau (Iron Man) and Kristen Davis (Sex and the City) have been cheating on each other for years. Faizon Love (Idlewild) is recently divorced and now dating a perky 20-year-old played by Kali Hawk (Lovers & Haters). Jason Bateman (Hancock) and Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) are contemplating divorce, but before they make their decision, they want to go to an eccentric form of couples counseling on an exotic island retreat known as "Eden." Bateman convinces the other three couples to come along (after all, there’s a great group rate), and our adventure begins. Many wacky hijinks ensue, and somehow all the crazy events that take place over the course of the week cause each of the couples to learn something about themselves and grow closer to each other.

The plot structure may be the stuff of tedious sitcoms, but I had hopes the usually-reliable writing team of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau would provide a generous dose of character-driven humor to keep the proceedings afloat. Alas, the writing is groan-worthy and predictable, relying on an agonizingly unsubtle blend of forced sentiment and over-the-top gags. For reasons too contrived to explain, the overweight Faizon Love is forced to strip in front of everyone else. The punch line is a shot of his bare buttocks. Ho, ho. Jean Reno wears a much-too-tight speedo. A yoga instructor shows the couples how to flex in a risque manner that makes it look as though he is simulating various sex acts with them. A masseuse gives Favreau a treatment and causes an unintended physical reaction. And so on and so forth. In fairness, the audience I was with found most of this stuff nothing short of riotous. Perhaps you will, too. However, I expect there are quite a few of you, like myself, who will find this material remarkably disappointing, especially when contrasted with the verbal delights of Swingers or the smart n’ sweet combo of the average Judd Apatow-produced comedy.

The biggest crime committed by Couples Retreat is the manner in which it wastes a remarkably gifted cast. Those who have seen Arrested Development and Veronica Mars know just how good Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell can be. This time around Bateman plays one anal-retentive note over and over, while Bell has absolutely nothing of interest to do. The rest of the leading men are cardboard cliches while the rest of the women can’t even deliver their perfunctory dialogue in a convincing manner (Kristen Davis in particularly has a tendency to overdo everything). Jean Reno just looks uncomfortable and unhappy, perhaps because his scenes are some of the most ill-advised in the film. Oh, and how about that ending? If Reno was really anticipating the final outcome of the film the entire time, he must have far greater psychic powers than the film indicates. Couples Retreat isn’t evil or aggressively awful. I suppose it’s a relatively inoffensive comedy (if you can excuse the expected dose of homophobic humor) attempting to promote the positive idea that couples should do whatever it takes to make their relationship work, but it does so in such a remarkably banal and uninspired manner I don’t see why anyone should spend their hard-earned money to witness it. One of the biggest duds of 2009.

The Verdict
2/10