Couples Retreat

OPENING: 10/09/2009

STUDIO: Universal Studios

RUN TIME: 107 min

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

The Charge
It may be paradise… but it’s no vacation.

Opening Statement
There’s enough comic talent in the cast of Couples Retreat to supply two or three films. Unfortunately, the laughs are few and very far between, in this clunker of a comedy.

The Case
The film focuses on four different couples. Vince Vaughn (Fred Claus) and Malin Akerman (Watchmen) are semi-happily married and have two young children. Jon Favreau (Iron Man) and Kristen Davis (Sex and the City) have been cheating on each other for years. Faizon Love (Idlewild) is recently divorced and now dating a perky 20-year-old played by Kali Hawk (Lovers & Haters). Jason Bateman (Hancock) and Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) are contemplating divorce, but before they make their decision, they want to go to an eccentric form of couples counseling on an exotic island retreat known as "Eden." Bateman convinces the other three couples to come along (after all, there’s a great group rate), and our adventure begins. Many wacky hijinks ensue, and somehow all the crazy events that take place over the course of the week cause each of the couples to learn something about themselves and grow closer to each other.

The plot structure may be the stuff of tedious sitcoms, but I had hopes the usually-reliable writing team of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau would provide a generous dose of character-driven humor to keep the proceedings afloat. Alas, the writing is groan-worthy and predictable, relying on an agonizingly unsubtle blend of forced sentiment and over-the-top gags. For reasons too contrived to explain, the overweight Faizon Love is forced to strip in front of everyone else. The punch line is a shot of his bare buttocks. Ho, ho. Jean Reno wears a much-too-tight speedo. A yoga instructor shows the couples how to flex in a risque manner that makes it look as though he is simulating various sex acts with them. A masseuse gives Favreau a treatment and causes an unintended physical reaction. And so on and so forth. In fairness, the audience I was with found most of this stuff nothing short of riotous. Perhaps you will, too. However, I expect there are quite a few of you, like myself, who will find this material remarkably disappointing, especially when contrasted with the verbal delights of Swingers or the smart n’ sweet combo of the average Judd Apatow-produced comedy.

The biggest crime committed by Couples Retreat is the manner in which it wastes a remarkably gifted cast. Those who have seen Arrested Development and Veronica Mars know just how good Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell can be. This time around Bateman plays one anal-retentive note over and over, while Bell has absolutely nothing of interest to do. The rest of the leading men are cardboard cliches while the rest of the women can’t even deliver their perfunctory dialogue in a convincing manner (Kristen Davis in particularly has a tendency to overdo everything). Jean Reno just looks uncomfortable and unhappy, perhaps because his scenes are some of the most ill-advised in the film. Oh, and how about that ending? If Reno was really anticipating the final outcome of the film the entire time, he must have far greater psychic powers than the film indicates. Couples Retreat isn’t evil or aggressively awful. I suppose it’s a relatively inoffensive comedy (if you can excuse the expected dose of homophobic humor) attempting to promote the positive idea that couples should do whatever it takes to make their relationship work, but it does so in such a remarkably banal and uninspired manner I don’t see why anyone should spend their hard-earned money to witness it. One of the biggest duds of 2009.

The Verdict
2/10

Extract

OPENING: 09/04/2009

STUDIO: Miramax

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

The Charge
Sticking it to the man has never looked so good.

Opening Statement
Over the course of the past decade, Mike Judge’s Office Space has become a cult classic. His amusing take on the suffocating horrors of the white-collar working world remains perhaps his most well-regarded achievement, and it’s hard not to compare the thematically-similiar Extract to Office Space. Unfortunately, this film doesn’t come close to measuring up to its spiritual predecessor.

Facts of the Case
In Extract, Judge moves from a white-collar office building to a blue-collar factory. The factory is owned and operated by Joel (Jason Bateman, Arrested Development), who has turned his passion for flavorful food extracts into a rather successful medium-sized business. He’s considering selling the business and retiring, but just before he’s about to work out a deal with General Mills, something at the factory goes terribly wrong. An accident causes a simple-minded but hard-working employee named Step (Clifton Collins Jr., Capote) to lose one of his testicles. This definitely means a large insurance settlement, but a gold-digging new employee named Cindy (Mila Kunis, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) has hopes of convincing Step to sue the company for all it’s worth.

Joel is deeply dismayed by the situation, particularly considering that he was already stressed out due to his seeming inability to convince his wife Suzie (Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live) to engage in marital bedroom action. Joel’s sexual frustration leads him to lust after Cindy. He’d like nothing more than to have an affair with her, but knows his guilt would be too much to bear. Joel’s buddy Dean (Ben Affleck, The Sum of All Fears) has an idea: what if Joel hires a gigolo to seduce Suzie? That way, after Suzie has an affair with the gigolo, Joel won’t need to feel guilty about having an affair with Cindy. As you might expect, not everything will go according to plan — and even if some things do, the results might be entirely different than anyone anticipates.

The Evidence
I really wanted to like Extract, mostly due to the fact that Mike Judge has been treated rather unfairly at the box office. Office Space was a flop before becoming a hit on home video, and his overlooked Idiocracy received notoriously awful treatment from Fox Searchlight during its short-lived theatrical run. Both films used broad comedy to make some rather pointed statements about society. Extract shows flashes of similarly sharp humor, but it’s mostly an aimless comedy that provides little more than half-smiles until it runs out of steam and quits.

This is a very gifted ensemble cast, but it’s rather startling to note just how terribly these individuals are wasted. Each character is given a rather one-dimensional personality type, and few are able to make their single joke work more than once. J.K. Simmons (Spider-Man) plays a manager who can’t remember the names of any of his employees. Ben Affleck plays a guy who thinks drugs are the answer to everything. Mila Kunis plays a sly con girl who predictably attempts to take advantage of everyone at every possible turn. Dustin Milligan plays an idiot who doesn’t seem to have learned the simple art of processing words other people are saying. Each of these characters turn up, amuse us for a few minutes, and then wear out their welcome.

The biggest problem is the script, which just can’t build up any comic momentum. In fact, it completely drops the ball in the baffling final act. There is a moment late in Extract in which Bateman’s character does something incredibly foolish. Bafflingly, the film completely lets him off the hook for this action, offering no consequences (comedic or otherwise), and supplying a shockingly mundane happy ending that feels like the work of a writer/director much less savvy than Judge. Was he afraid that a less friendly conclusion would earn him the sort of poor audience test screenings that killed Idiocracy? To witness the final act of Extract is to see one of this year’s most striking examples of cinematic timidity.

Still, the film isn’t a complete waste of time. Even though many elements aren’t working, Judge manages to supply enough laughs to keep Extract watchable and occasionally entertaining. David Koechner (Anchorman) is nothing short of hilarious in his role as Joel’s obtrusive neighbor, and the underused Kristen Wiig has some slyly fun scenes of guilt-ridden anxiety. Bateman manages to hold the whole thing together quite well, relying on an appealing everyman quality that makes him easy to identify with.

Closing Statement
Extract is by no means the bottom of the barrel in terms of cinematic comedies of 2009 (this is far more intriguing than something like Year One), but it should have been so much better. What makes it all the more painful is that Judge does occasionally hit those spot-on moments of comic genius (such as the soda-addicted man in Step’s house who ponders calling Pizza Hut for a Pepsi delivery when he runs out of his favorite beverage) that remind of us of how good he can be. A surprise misfire from a talented man.

The Verdict
5/10