Year One

OPENING: 06/19/2009

STUDIO: Columbia Pictures

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

SOUNDTRACK: N/A

The Charge
Meet your ancestors.

Opening Statement
My reaction when first hearing about Year One: "Hey, a new Harold Ramis comedy? Cool beans! I’ll keep an eye out for it."



My reaction to Year One now that I’ve seen it: "$*#@. #*@!, #*!@, $%!@."


Facts of the Case
Year One begins in the Year of Our Lord Who the Heck Knows, a time period I am not familiar with. There we meet two cavemen: an incompetent hunter named Zed (Jack Black, School of Rock) who nobody likes because he is both an idiot and incompetent; and Oh (Michael Cera, Superbad), a wimpy gatherer who can’t seem to garner the respect of anyone. For some inexplicable reason, Zed and Oh are friends. One day, while wandering through the woods, they come across The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Zed impulsively eats from the tree, gaining no additional knowledge or intelligence, but does get kicked out the camp as a consequence for his sacrilege. Oh decides to follow Zed, and they embark on a series of misadventures involving Cain (David Cross, The Grand) and Abel (Paul Rudd, I Love You, Man), the prophet Abraham (Hank Azaria, The Simpsons), the city of Sodom, a princess (Olivia Wilde, Turistas), and a couple of attractive slave girls (June Diane Rapheal and Juno Temple).

The Evidence
The trailers for Year One didn’t look particularly good, but I had hopes it might be an entertaining movie. Sure, director Harold Ramis hasn’t always struck gold (Analyze That, anyone?), but even his least successful films have been reasonably engaging. Alas, Year One represents a low point in Mr. Ramis’ career. Do you want to know how bad this movie is? The funniest moments are in the trailer. In truth, the best this film can hope to achieve is painless mediocrity and it doesn’t even come close, barely managing to distinguish itself from the abysmal comedies coming from the Epic Movie/Date Movie/Disaster Movie crowd.

The film plays like a low-rent version of Mel Brooks’ A History of the World, Part 1, which itself was a low-rent version of a Monty Python film. The plot is a loosely connected series of illogical threads designed to tie together a group of poorly-conceived sketches. As such, we’re treated to material that wouldn’t even make it into the final half-hour of Saturday Night Live. I suppose there is some potential enjoyment to be had in poking fun at the lifestyles of cavemen and Old Testament figures, but Year One jumps on every obvious joke and clubs it into the ground.

For example, Zed and Oh are attempting to follow the trail of some slave-traders. In order to get an idea of how far away the traders are, Zed decides to examine the warmth of their fecal matter. As if this stuff wasn’t tired and boring enough, do we really need five minutes to watch Zed smell, taste, and chew on it, analyzing what foods the traders have been recently eating? Likewise, anytime an opportunity for a sex joke appears, the film not only takes it but repeats it endlessly. You can bet if you come across a eunuch in this film, you will not only find out what body part he’s missing, but where he keeps it and what he’s planning to do with it.

Whose terrible idea was it to cast Jack Black in the lead role? Black is hit-and-miss with me to begin with, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a less inspired performance. Pulling out the same sort of over-the-top chaos that defines his Tenacious D personality, he seems to be on autopilot with a performance full of tired shtick that won’t entertain anyone over the age of seven (not that anyone so young should be permitted to see this film, as it considerably pushes the boundaries of the PG-13 rating). The writing isn’t all that funny to begin with, but Black does absolutely nothing to make it any more amusing. Almost every line he delivers sounds like a rocker greeting an audience. Instead of, "All right, Detroit! Are you reeeeady to ROCK?", it’s "All RIIIIGHT! Let’s go over THAT-a-way, OW!"

Consider for a moment this film features the likes of Michael Cera, Hank Azaria, Harold Ramis, Oliver Platt, David Cross, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Bill Hader. With a cast like this, you could make something side-splitting. The only problem is none of them are funny in Year One. I only laughed twice: once at Ramis, and once at Azaria. To be perfectly honest, both of those laughs were more like mild chuckles, partially generated by my goodwill towards these two men. It didn’t last long.


With characters from many different eras of ancient history, the only conceivable reason I can find for calling the movie Year One is this: if the film makes money, they can call the next one Year Two. Please, for the love of all that is sacred, don’t let that happen.

Closing Statement
This one should have no trouble carving out a place for itself on many "Worst of 2009" lists, including mine. So let it be over, so let it be done.

The Verdict
1/10

Tropic Thunder

Opening Date: 08/15/2008

STUDIO: Dreamworks

TRAILER: Trailer

ACCOMPLICES: Official Site

The Charge
Get some. 

Opening Statement
Before The Dark Knight captured the mania and hysteria of the summer, the season’s runaway success was that of Iron Man and its star Robert Downey Jr. The film’s $300 Million box office success has opened every possible opportunity for the actor, and since a second Iron Man is a virtual certainty, the only question is what he’ll do next. So yeah, star as a critically acclaimed actor in a Vietnam war film, while wearing blackface. Seems only logical right?

Facts of the Case
Ben Stiller (The Heartbreak Kid) and Justin Theroux came up with the story, which Stiller directed. The film’s hero is Tugg Speedman (Stiller), an action star of a franchise whose recent films have been poorly received both critically and at the box office. His attempted dramatic crossover films have also failed. Hi co-star, Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black, Nacho Libre) has been a franchise star as well, however his films, called The Fatties, are simply nothing more than bathroom humor where Jeff plays all the characters. Think the Klumps from the Eddie Murphy Nutty Professor films, except with more farting. Jeff has a bit of an addiction problem as well, and has been arrested on occasion where he’s acted up. Speaking of acting up, the dramatic star is Kirk Lazarus (Downey), winner of several “Crying Monkey” statues, along with every other acting trophy under the sun. His is a method acting of the highest order. To play Lincoln Osiris in Tropic Thunder, Lazarus dyed his skin black and took on a Detroit accent (of sorts) for the role. When the film’s production falls out of budget and time, their technical advisor (Nick Nolte, Hotel Rwanda) suggests to the director that the boys be taken away from their creature comforts and dropped in the middle of the jungle with limited contact to the outside world. The film documents what occurs afterwards. 

The Evidence
I was fortunate enough to catch an advance screening of Tropic Thunder in San Diego the night before Comic Con started, and it was a surreal experience to say the least. After a filmed introduction to the film by the stars (exclusive to San Diego crowds and which will no doubt make the DVD), the film’s experience is designed to get you to buy into the characters as much as possible. Trailers for the ‘fake’ stars’ films will air before the feature, along with a commercial for “Booty Sweat,” the drink that another one of the film’s stars, Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson, Roll Bounce) markets. Then you’re dropped right into the shiz, so to speak.

In advance press for the film, Ben Stiller has said, in several places (notably Playboy) that “There was something so ironic and funny about actors talking about how hard it was to go off to boot camp for two weeks for a movie about a war when it obviously had nothing to do with the real experience of war.  It might have been my own bitterness about not getting parts in these movies, but I did think there was the seed of something in the irony of actors taking themselves too seriously.  Maybe this movie is my revenge. “  This revenge, combined with the observations made in the film, makes Tropic Thunder as enjoyable as it is. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some humor at its base elements, where Speedman encounters severed heads of humans and animals which, within the context of the bit, is a little on the disappointing side, but other jokes designed to poke fun at Hollywood’s expense are quite good.

Speedman’s agent, Rick Peck (Matthew McConaughey, in the role Owen Wilson was due to play before his suicide attempt) is a supporter of all things Tugg, but when he’s presented with a moral quandary choosing between his longtime client and friend and the wealth and luxury of a Gulfstream jet, things become muddied. He wants no part of the jungle, but when Tugg isn’t given his contractual obligation of a TiVo at his temporary jungle residence, that’s when things start to hit the fan. Oh yeah, the guy who presents Rick with this dilemma? That would be Lee Grossman, played with some prosthetics and a bald cap by Tom Cruise. Yes, THAT Tom Cruise. As the fictional Grossman, Cruise plays a loud, profane alpha dog of a man, a studio boss with no time to dispense platitudes, but will woo anyone over to the dark side if it will advance a greater good, and throw them under the bus if they get in his way. Cruise swears, dances (almost worth the admission price alone with all the makeup), and in a particularly funny sequence near the end of the film, congratulates and chastises executive Bill Hader (Superbad) within the same sentence. What little time he spends on screen isn’t wasted, and there’s usually a bellylaugh or two to be gained from watching him.

Much of the film’s jokes and dialogue are on the guilty laugh / cringeworthy side. When discussing Speedman’s failure with the film Simple Jack, Lazarus says that the failure of the role was because he didn’t temper his character’s mental deficiencies, using a funny yet oddly logical argument that puts Rain Man and I Am Sam in some context. Downey’s African-American inflection borders a little bit on the Kingfish side of things, and when Chino starts to belittle all things Aussie, Downey (as Lazarus) defends them, and does so as Osiris to boot. When one of the cast members is found out to be gay, Portnoy, in an attempt to feed his addiction, talks in detail of what he would do with him if he could be allowed to get drugs.

If there was something that could be considered a little bit on the weakish side, it would be the story within the film. Getting to the last battle sequence seems to drag a little long. Even at 1 hour and 47 minutes it’s about 10 minutes longer than the film should be, but the performances are still excellent. Stiller’s actual Vietnam story seems to lean quite a bit on Apocalypse Now, with Tugg acting as Colonel Kurtz, while Lazarus, in blackface, wears white makeup in an attempt to break him out. Yes, he’s white, made to be black, then white again. Got it? Black tends to ham it up a little, but his hamminess does have a slight edge to it, and Downey is no C. Thomas Howell (Soul Man). The lines are funny, he stays in character even after the camera stops rolling, and although McConaughey took over Wilson’s role, it’s hard to imagine anyone else doing it. It’s the best portrayal of an agent I’ve seen since Martin Short in The Big Picture. And Cruise damn near steals the film in the limited screen time he has.

This kind of material is something I’d been wanting to see Stiller do for ages. He got close to it in the early ‘90s, but I think with age, perspective, and given the chance to go all out, he could make an excellent and hilarious satire of Hollywood as it’s laid out right now. Tropic Thunder is a great first step towards that destiny, if he chooses to take it.

Closing Statement
Tropic Thunder does a couple of things for me as a moviegoer I didn’t think were possible. First, it made me pretty much absolve Ben Stiller for all the cinematic sins he’s committed through the years. Second, (and this is the bigger one) never, NEVER did I think that Tom Cruise could be so biting and hilarious. This is the funniest performance he’s ever given, in part because it’s so blustery and without depth. Combine that with a hearty dose of politically incorrect humor and a finger in the eye to the Hollywood establishment, and you’ve got a winning comedic formula. Tropic Thunder stands to be the highest-grossing comedy of 2008, and with everything that happens here, it’s worth the ride.

The Verdict
Come for Downey, stay for Cruise and the jokes. It’ll be well worth your time.

9/10

Kung Fu Panda

Opening Date: 06/06/2008

STUDIO: Dreamworks

TRAILER: Trailer

ACCOMPLICES: Official Site

VERDICT: Not Guilty

The Charge

Prepare for awesomeness.

Audio Review

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Score: 3/4