The Smurfs

OPENING: 07/29/2011

STUDIO: Columbia Pictures

RUN TIME: 86 min

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

The Charge
Where the Smurf are we?

Opening Statement
Long ago, a group of small blue humanoids called Smurfs invaded televisions every Saturday morning. They constantly sang a cheery song whose main lyrics were “la la la-la la la” and had adventures. Children were hooked immediately. Fast forward thirty years and those children are in the midst of re-discovering their childhoods. Sadly, it turns out some things are best left in the past.

Facts of the Case
On the eve of the Blue Moon festival, Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters, It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World) has a vision full of images too horrible to bear: a magic wand, iron cages, lots of yelling and running. Disaster is on the horizon, and it appears to be centered around Clumsy Smurf (Anton Yelchin, Hearts in Atlantis). And, indeed, Clumsy does instigate the troubles by stumbling too close to the haunt of Gargamel and leading the evil wizard straight to the Smurfs’ hidden village. In the ensuing flight to freedom, Clumsy makes a wrong turn and Papa leads a small task force to rescue him before it’s too late. But it is too late, and the lot are sucked through a vortex and into Central Park, followed closely by Gargamel, despite the fact that 94 of the 100 Smurfs did not go through the vortex and are loose in the wild.

In New York the Smurfs run across ad executive Patrick Winslow (Neil Patrick Harris, Beastly), who finds them to be a nuisance when they interrupt his work. The Smurfs just want to get home, which entails studying the stars (from the middle of New York City) and making a potion based on a Smurfs comic book. While they’re doing all this, they slowly creep into Patrick’s heart. He jams with them in an excruciating extended Guitar Hero scene complete with the Smurfs rapping along to Aerosmith’s “Walk…” I mean, “Smurf This Way.” Eventually, of course, he becomes a better man because of them, only partially because they inadvertently save his job, and he plays a small part in getting them home.

As for Gargamel, back in the cartoon days he wanted the Smurfs for one of two reasons: sometimes he wanted to eat them, other times he thought they were the key alchemic ingredient to make gold. This time, however, he wants to reduce them to their concentrated essence, which will give him the power to do…well, just about anything.

The Evidence
The Smurfs is aimed at the adults who grew up watching the cartoon, even more than their children. Thus, the film is loaded with self-referential quotes and gags. You’ve seen many of them in the trailers: they sing the Smurf song and Patrick says, “Don’t you find that just a little bit annoying?” Patrick also makes a fuss about them using the word “Smurf” for just about everything and questions the system of naming themselves after their primary characteristic. There are also plenty of pop culture references. The Smurfs “blend in” by hugging an advertisement for the Blue Man Group. They master the art of skateboarding. Smurfette is voiced by pop star Katy Perry, so naturally she says, “I kissed a Smurf…and I liked it!”

The problem isn’t the gags, per se, it’s that the gags become the movie. The thin plot is simply a frame to connect the dozens of little references and in-jokes. It makes for a very unsatisfying product.

The Smurfs featured in their first vehicle in three decades are mostly the obvious ones. Papa Smurf, Smurfette, and Brainy (Fred Armisen, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore) are all…well, no-brainers. Grouchy Smurf (George Lopez, Rio)is a bit of a mystery, and he’s not as contrarian as he used to be. Apparently he’s mellowed in the last thirty years. Clumsy is along just because he’s the catalyst for the disaster. That leaves the last of the crew, Gutsy (Alan Cumming, Burlesque). Never heard of him? That’s because he was created for this film. Why didn’t they just use Hefty Smurf, who would have filled the “fearless adventurer” role back in the day? The only reason I can think of is that someone decided that characters who speak in a Scottish brogue are very popular with the kids these days. You can probably thank Shrek.

The voice acting is respectable; I never felt that the Smurfs weren’t really doing the talking. Most of the humans are less convincing. Neil Patrick Harris channels Matthew Perry throughout most of the film, and every time he tries to hug a Smurf, it looks unnatural. Jayma Mays brings her perky Glee presence to the role of Grace and does a credible job of selling an enthusiastic, optimistic wife. Hank Azaria (Hop) has the most fun as Gargamel. He looks very much like the cartoon version, thanks to a small dose of nose prosthetics, and he cheerfully hams up every scene he’s in. His interactions with Azrael (Mr. Krinkle) are the best parts of the show. Speaking of Azrael, as long as the camera keeps its distance, the illusion of a semi-talking cat works pretty well. When they do a close-up to try to personify his expression or his actions, however, he just looks fake and creepy.

Unfortunately, director Raja Gosnell likes fast pans, which is very disorienting in a 3D film, at least if you’re sitting near the front. It took my eyes about a half-second to readjust after each one. Other than that, the 3D does a slightly better than average job. The Smurfs themselves don’t ever seem to pop out but some environments have decent effects. On the other hand, there were spans of time where taking the 3D glasses off made for a clearer picture. Don’t bother paying the extra for 3D if you can help it. The sound is likewise unimpressive. The voices come through clearly but there is little ambient noise. I never felt immersed in the world the film presented.

Like Papa Smurf, I have a vision: several months from now, around, say, Christmas shopping time, The Smurfs will become available for your home viewing pleasure, and the film’s marketing department will not miss out on the color-coordinating potential of Smurfs and Blu-ray discs. You heard it here first.

Closing Statement
The kids in the audience seemed entertained throughout, so at least the minor half of the target audience got its money’s worth. The Smurfs is simple and straightforward, and children should have no trouble figuring out the basics, even if the ad-executive subplot doesn’t have any meaning for them.

The Verdict
5/10

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN

OPENING: 05/22/2009

STUDIO: Fox

RUN TIME: 105 min

TRAILER: Trailer

ACCOMPLICES: Official Site

SOUNDTRACK:

The Charge
When the lights go off the battle is on.

Opening Statement
At a time when studio execs are more than content with slapping a new coat of paint on an old movie and calling it a sequel, it’s encouraging to know there are still filmmakers willing to go the extra mile to bring audiences something smart and fresh.

Facts of the Case
It’s been three years since Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) saved New York’s Museum of Natural History from an Egyptian curse and three unscrupulous security guards. He’s since parlayed that confidence into a successful business inventing and marketing unique household products. Sadly, his new schedule allows very little time to spend at the museum, so he’s blind-sided to discover the place is getting a techno upgrade and his friends are being shipped off to The Smithsonian’s deep storage facility. If that weren’t bad enough, Dexter the monkey has hijacked the enchanted tablet of Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek), giving life to every one of The Smithsonian’s stored exhibits including Ahk’s deeply jealous brother Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria) whose world domination plans are now back in business. Not only must Larry break into one of the country’s most secure facilities, but also enlist the help of new friends to rescue his pals and put a stop to Kah before the sun comes up and residents of the Nation’s capitol figure out just what the heck is going on.

The Evidence
Let’s face it, comedy is extremely subjective. What one person may view as a laugh-out-loud farce, another could find to be an excruciating waterboarding session. So, when I tell you I found Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian to be innocuously enjoyable, take that for what it’s worth.

The original Night at the Musuem caught audiences by surprise. Sweet, funny, and memorable, the film’s cast of zany historical characters and special effects made for great family entertainment. Of course Fox saw franchise dollars signs and immediately ordered up a sequel. But give props to Reno 911! stars and scribes Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant for not offering up a rehashed treatment of the first script. The boys did their homework, came up with new historical allies and enemies for Larry to battle with, and although the outcome is similar, the journey we take to get there is just as enjoyable.

I’m far from the world’s biggest Ben Stiller fan, but his schtick works here, tempered by partnering up with Amy Adams (Enchanted) as Amelia Earhart. Amy is adorable, but she’s given so much period dialogue, you find yourself just wanting to shout “Shut up and get to the point!” which distracts us from Ben’s usual mugging for the camera. The one character we don’t get enough of is General George Custer, played with zest by SNL‘s Bill Hader. Everyone else on the team is used sparingly. Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan return as mini-mates Jebediah and Octavius, but their roles are reduced (no pun intended) to glorified plot point cameos with not a whole lot to do. The same holds true for Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt, Mizuo Peck as Sacajawea (Sack-a-jam-e-ah… Sack-in-the-box… Cino de mayo…), Rami Malek as Ahkmenrah, and Patrick Gallagher as Attila the Hun. Even Larry’s son Nick (Jack Cherry) checks in for a brief few moments to help the story along. This time, the screen focus is on Hank Azaria’s Kahmunrah (doing a bizarre Boris Karloff impersonation), Christopher Guest (Best in Show) as Ivan the Terrible, Alain Chabat (The Science of Sleep) as Napoleon, and Jon Bernthal (World Trade Center) as Al Capone. This Legion of Doom is out to take over the world and there looks to be little anyone can do to stop them, what with ever piece of world history, art, and science at their disposal. But with Larry around, there’s always a way.

Battle of the Smithsonian is one of those turn your brain off experiences. If you sit there trying to figure out where all the other security guards have gone, why there’s absolutely no one on the streets of New York or the National Mall in Washington, why certain pieces of high profile artwork from other celebrated museums have found their way into the Smithsonian, and just how the heck Larry and company are going to clean up all the damage they’ve done to the Smithsonian’s many buildings and exhibits, you’re going to miss all the fun. The sight gags, the banter, and the inventive use of recognizable pop culture and historical significance are what you came for. Plus, we get another lush Alan Silvestri score, bathing the whole picture in escapist, heartfelt fantasy. What more do you want for $12 (plus the cost of concessions)?

Closing Statement
Director Shawn Levy (Cheaper by the Dozen) has made a name for himself with these all-ages, hit-and-miss adventures. The good thing is, with the exception a few undercooked scenes which could have easily been cut and saved for DVD, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian hits more than it misses. It’s the first genuine family-friendly film of the summer and sure to rake in a good buck for the studio. Let’s just hope Fox doesn’t get greedy and try for a third. I’d hate to see Larry end up at The Louvre, The Tate Modern, or god-forbin The Vatican. Then again, it could be more enjoyable than a Dan Brown adaptation.

The Verdict
7.5/10