Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

OPENING: 06/22/2009

STUDIO: DreamWorks

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

SOUNDTRACK:

The Charge
Revenge is coming.

Opening Statement
I experienced an unexpected soft spot for 2007’s Transformers, a delightfully fun and, at times, brutally entertaining blockbuster which — coupled with The Island — made me rethink my entire opinion concerning director Michael Bay. Prior to viewing his vision of robots in disguise, I found Bay to be a patchy and intrusive filmmaker. However, leaving that movie I began to believe he might have finally cracked the blockbuster code. All those hours wasted watching Pearl Harbor suddenly felt worthwhile, knowing Bay was a changed artist with the promise that future projects might offer the same skill conjuring fantastical escapism. Unfortunately, such hopes where premature. Bay has detonated any hope of his evolution as a dumb fun connoisseur, by delivering a truly tedious and uninspired sequel. A heartbreakingly monotonous and unoriginal gambit to expand the Transformers universe, Revenge of The Fallen is destined to climax as this summer’s most disappointing diversion.

Facts of the Case
Taking place shortly after the events of the first movie, Revenge of the Fallen picks up with Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) heading off to college, looking forward to an independent, robot-free future. Making it clear to the Autobots he no longer wants to be involved in their war against the evil Decepticons, Sam wants to focus instead on his long distance relationship with beautiful Mikeala (Megan Fox) and forging out a bright and lively life for himself. However, we quickly learn this won’t be the case.

Megatron, the Decepticon’s leader, has risen once again and now serves an even greater evil. This ancient and restless force, known only as The Fallen, wants revenge on those who millennia ago managed to stop him from gaining complete control of the universe. In order to do so, it requires something found only inside Sam. At the end of the previous installment, The Allspark — a relic containing infinite power and intelligence — was destroyed, but not before its knowledge was transferred into the mind of our freshman hero, leaving him as the key to The Fallen’s vengeance and domination.

The Evidence
I really wanted to love Revenge of the Fallen, so the fact I didn’t should only further highlight how unsatisfying a motion picture it is. Many critics will be going in with low expectations, with the hope of being able to verbally gut Michael Bay afterward. Sadly, they’ll get their wish, whilst my hopes of receiving another wonderfully entertaining adrenaline rush have been dashed. It’s a film so grounded in mediocrity and wildly unoriginal that fans will surely be reduced to tears of bitter resentment. Meanwhile, Bay-haters will smile and tick off one more cinematic offense to hold against the man.

The story is a mess, starting with some semblance of narrative cohesion, but quickly dropping into an over-plotted mire of machines and concepts only diehards will happily follow. I have very little knowledge of Transformers mythology and maybe people who do won’t find the stretched story and multiple plot strands distractingly disjointed. For me, they left an unpleasant taste in the mouth. Ideas and plot points are picked up and dropped in an instant, while throughout the film continuity is something the creative team clearly felt unnecessary to address. In a big blockbuster, I can forgive a few plot holes, but several of these narrative shortcomings are better described as plot chasms, huge inconsistencies that truly detract from the experience.

Knowing that two of the writers — Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman — are the same men behind this summer’s awesome reincarnation of Star Trek and the first film in this once promising series, one has to assume all their efforts went into rebooting Kirk and company, at the expense of this project. The screenplay is a hatchet job of ideas from Transformers and several other sci-fi extravaganzas, leaving the viewer with familiar elements stuffed into one monstrously ineffective plotline. Elements of The Matrix, Species, and even Peter Jackson’s King Kong (a fight between Prime and some bad guys is very reminiscent of the Kong vs. T-Rex epic) are riddled within this production’s unappealing DNA, which is further corrupted by its seemingly insatiable desire to tepidly remake its predecessor.

The performances are stale and uninvolving. I appreciate they aren’t the film’s biggest selling point, but the last outing at least offered a host of lively and enjoyable turns. Revenge of The Fallen can’t make any such boast. Shia LaBeouf is in danger of having his shtick become passé, after only two years in the spotlight. Last time, he reminded me of a young Michael J. Fox. This time, he’s a hipster who has bought to far into his own hype. The comedic and emotional effort offered in Transformers is gone, substituted with some unfunny improv and wooden acting. Megan Fox remains the most beautiful woman on the planet, with a fairly magnetic screen presence, but she suffers from the same stilted performing as LaBeouf. Even comic relief Ramon Rodriguez is hopeless as Sam’s roommate.

In truth, the only actor who really nets any genuine success is the ever reliable John Turturro, firing up several moments of true comic ingenuity, amongst the groans and implausible plot developments. As was the case in the last film, the proceedings do maintain a comedic bent, but it’s far more hit and miss. Sam’s parents are milked dry for more groans than giggles, and a set of gurning robotic comrades are more likely to remind audience members of Jar-Jar Binks than anything else. At times, the one-liners do elicit a positive reaction, but overall this is fairly weak stuff.

The action scenes remain a wonder to behold, but much of their energy and charm has dissipated in Revenge of The Fallen; a more expensive and notably less exciting picture. Bay remains a wizard with CGI and a few of his well-timed explosions hit the spot, but overall the set-pieces feel flat and half baked. With Transformers, spectacle won the day, even despite some shaky camera work. While the shooting is steadier this time, the levels of awe never rise above a mild murmur. Bay seems unwilling to take the carnage in a new direction and the raging conclusion is rendered useless by the fact that the audience has long since stopped caring. Obviously, emotional engagement and cerebral plotting are secondary to big thrills, while glossy action and blockbusting that fails to raise the adrenaline above a disappointing norm are unsurprisingly lacking. This film can’t even deliver on the necessity of being enjoyable.

At two and a half hours it was destined to be too long, especially with such an unconvincing story left to fill out the baggy excess. It’s a bitter pill to swallow and a harsh smack to the face for those who drew joy from the original. I didn’t require oodles of intelligent drama, but I really needed some dynamic action and effective spectacle… and even there it sells the audience pathetically short. A few moments of CGI wizardry, John Turturro, and Megan Fox in hot pants makes Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen occasionally bearable, but overall this is a sorry sequel to a vastly superior original.

Closing Statement
Easily the most disappointing film of the year thus far. It’s back to the drawing board, in terms of appreciating Michael Bay. Audiences — even Transformers fans — should wait for the DVD. Me, I’d rather pretend this mirthless follow-up never existed.

The Verdict
4/10